Senior stories by Cogir: Don & Helen

Transcript

Dave: Hi, Don. Hi, Helen. 

Don: Hi there. 

Dave: I’ve been waiting to talk to you because being the month of Valentine’s, I wanna know the secret. Over seventy years married, how many years have you been married?

Don: Seventy two. 

Dave: Give me the secret. Come on. I need the love lying secret. 

Helen: What’s the secret? Talk to each other about things. Talk to each other about things. And I think that’s one big one. Wouldn’t you say, doc? 

Don: Being willing to get over the bad things, I guess.

Helen: Yeah. Get through the rough times and just keep on going. 

Dave: And, Helen, when you mentioned talking with each other, is there anything after seventy years that’s off limits that you don’t talk about? 

Helen: I can’t think of anything. Can you? Anything after seventy years that we can’t talk about? 

Don: I don’t know what it would be. 

Dave: Yeah. Well, I imagine after seventy years, you’re best friends. So what do you enjoy doing together?

Well, we’ve always just like doing things together, and I think that’s one of the secrets of the long marriage that we’ve done things together. Oh, when we were younger and we had children that were still, we did a lot of camping as a family group. 

Don: And a lot of square dancing. 

Helen: And we square danced for a very long time. 

Dave: Oh, there you go.

Helen: I mean, like, a very long time. We probably square danced for probably fifty years. So Yeah. 

Dave: Oh, that’s fun. When you talk about when you were younger, I’m just doing the math here. Seventy two years.  You were married in 52’. 

Helen: Yes. 

Dave: Alright. So you got married in the swinging fifties. Tell me about that. 

Helen: Well, actually, we met when we were going to college. We were both going to the university in Berkeley, and he called my mom up and wanted to ride to school because 

Don: both lived in Concord at the time. 

Helen: Yeah. We both lived in Concord, and my mom worked at the university. So we both wound up going to work in the car with her when we were going to school for a couple of years. 

Dave: And you weren’t dating yet or anything, right, when you were riding to school? 

Helen: We were friends for a long time, for quite a while. We were friends first before it got really romantic.And the first date we ever had, we got target practicing. 

Dave: So it was, Who had that idea, Don? Was that you? Was that you that got the idea? 

Helen: That was probably me. 

Don: Yeah. It was with deer rifles, and we had about one twenty two rifle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Helen: But I had been taking a rifle request at UC and as a PE class. And, I would come back to the car in the evening with my target that I could show what I had hit. So one day he said, well, why don’t we just both go out and do something? Wanted to do target practicing. So we did, and that was the first date we had.

Dave: So, Don, seeing that Helen was pretty good at target practice, did that kinda keep you in line during your marriage? 

Don: I don’t think so. 

Dave: Alright. So you get married in the fifties. And in that era, it was, Don, did you have the grease back hair and the leather jacket on? And, Helen, you probably had the bobtail going. That was the fifties. Right? 

Helen: No. He wound up with the military uniform on.

Dave: Oh, here we go. What branch of the military? 

Helen: He was drafted out of college and wound up having to go to Korea. 

Dave: Okay. The Korean war. And how long were you over there, Don? 

Don: Only it was actually. Maybe maybe just one year. I got out early. I got out.

Helen: He was in the military twenty one months because when he was on the troop ship going to Korea, they signed the truce or armistice, whatever it was. So he was enduring the war, but then since they had come to a truce, they let him out a little earlier to go back to school. So it worked out best for us. 

Dave: And, Helen, were you already married when Don went to Korea, or were you engaged?

Helen: Well, we planned on getting married, but when he got the notice that he had to report for duty on a certain day. We upped all the plans and took my mom’s car and went to Nevada and got married over at Fallon. So we figured it was better to get we were gonna get married anyway, and why not get married before he went into the military? Then whatever money he got that would be sent to me is a lot, but I can put in the bank so it would have it when he was finishing school.

Dave: So, for our viewers, Fallon, Nevada outside Reno, large military base there. And you’re in Vacaville, Cogir Vacaville. Correct? 

Helen: In Sacramento for years. And then, due to job changes, we wound up moving to Vacaville, and you wound up working through our island.

Dave: Alright. So if I remember correctly, Vacaville is west of so it’s between Sacramento and San Francisco. Is that fair? 

Helen: Yes. You’re right.

Dave: Yeah. Okay. And Cogir of Vacaville, tell me about being at Cogir in that community. 

Helen: Well, it’s very nice here. We like it. It’s everything but I can’t understand how they can employ such friendly people all the time. Everyone is always friendly, always smiling, always willing to help you if you need anything, and they are just an outstanding group of employees. And it makes it very pleasant to be here. And the food is good, and we have relatives that live in the area, so it’s very convenient for us. There, they can check on us, and we could go check on them. And it’s, but they’ve got a library here. We’re in it right now, and I read a lot of the books. But we do different things that are here. Don just played Pinnacle for four hours. And we also both we played bridge, and we played poker. And, then there’s always bingo in between times. So we enjoy a lot of the activities they have here. 

Dave: You play some poker. You might wanna head over to Reno and play a few hands there, Helen. I don’t know.

Helen: Well, there’s a big difference in the amount of money you need to play in Reno. Our buy in is very, very low. 

Dave: What are your favorite things to eat there at Cogir? Because I know they have wonderful food, a dining room. They spoil you. What are your favorite types of food at Cogir, Vacaville? 

Helen: The food is quite good, and they have party days a couple of days a week that they have mimosas or wine and that kind of thing as well as the shrimp cocktail. And there’s times that we enjoy the fish that they have. They have salmon quite often, and we like that. 

Don: And they aren’t ice cream.

Dave: Oh, and the ice cream, you can. You guys are having shrimp cocktail ice cream, wine, and mimosas. Life’s good. 

Helen: Then I would not— I didn’t mention their BLTs. They are outstanding. You can’t beat their bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. 

Dave: You mentioned that you have relatives in the area, which makes it wonderful because they can visit, you can visit. What relatives do your kids live in the area still? 

Helen: We have a son that lives here, and he’s married. And then there’s two grandchildren, and now we have a great grandchild that’s in the area as well.

Dave: So that’s a new addition to the family. Alright. So you two lovebirds, 72 married. Give us the goods here, Helen. How did Don propose to you?

Helen: I’m not sure he ever really did until we married her for fifty nine years. And then we just sort of figured out this was what we needed. But, then when we were in Hawaii on our fifty ninth anniversary, he actually got down on one knee and gave me a ring. 

Dave: Okay. So, Don, you made up ground really quick there. Attaboy. 

Don: That worked. 

Dave: What are romantic things that you guys do? Do you watch music together? You mentioned square dancing. I mean, do you listen to music together, watch movies together? 

Helen: We just enjoy doing things together with each other and with friends. We enjoy being with friends.

Dave: Do you enjoy the same types of music? 

Helen: Pretty much, I think so. Yes. 

Dave: What’s your favorite type of music? Who are your favorite singers? Would they be from today’s era of music or from the nineteen fifties or sixties? 

Helen: Don’s favorite from years ago was Nat King Cole.

Dave: Of course. 

Helen: We really liked him. 

Dave: Of course. 

Dave: See, you’re a romantic guy, Don. Come on. Proposing on one knee in Hawaii, little Nat King Cole. You know what you’re doing, buddy. 

Helen: We just enjoy doing things with the family too with. We always went camping in September with all of his first cousins. And there was a very large group of those. We had a special lake in Northern California that we went to, and everybody had RVs or tents or whatever they needed, and we would camp for the week right after Labor Day.

Dave: Oh, that’s fun. 

Helen: And there was good fishing there too. So we had a very good time with family. 

Dave: What month is your anniversary, your wedding anniversary? 

Helen: December.

Dave: So in December, you’ll be celebrating seventy three years? 

Helen: Yes. We will. 

Dave: Well, congratulations to you, and you two are too cute. And happy Valentine’s to both of you.

Helen: Well, thank you very much. 

Dave: You take care. Okay? 

Helen: Okay. Thank you.

Summary

Don and Helen, residents at Cogir of Vacaville, have been married for over 72 years and share the story of a lifetime spent together. From meeting as college students at UC Berkeley to raising a family, camping across Northern California, and square dancing through five decades, their bond has remained strong through it all.

They talk about their early years, Don’s service during the Korean War, and the everyday joys of simply doing life together. At Cogir of Vacaville, they stay active with card games, social activities, and enjoying meals—including their favorites like salmon and BLTs.

Now surrounded by nearby family, friendly staff, and a supportive community, Don and Helen continue to enjoy each other’s company, proving that the best relationships are built on friendship, communication, and sharing all of life’s moments, big and small.