Senior stories by Cogir: Tosca Lenci

Transcript

Dave: You know, so many people in our incredible Cogir communities, they love to write. It’s a great way to document life and also to have a special outlet. Well, today, you’re gonna love meeting Tosca Lencie on Napa Road. Tosca Lensi loves to write and she made a career at it. Plus, she’s interesting. Cogir on Napa Road in Napa Valley. Tosca, you mentioned that you were married for twenty five years. 

Tosca: Yes. 

Dave: Divorced for twelve 

Tosca: Yes. 

Dave: And then married back to the same person for– 

Tosca: The father of my children. Yes.

Dave: For how many years after you were divorced? 

Tosca: Eighteen. 

Dave: So twenty five years married, twelve years divorced, and then eighteen with the same guy again? 

Tosca: Yes. 

Dave: Okay. That’s a love story. Somewhere in there is a love story. 

Tosca: Well, yes. It is a love story because I was 18. I had graduated from high school at 16, managed to get a year and a half to get into state college and my first writing course at 18. Everything I worked for And, sitting in front of me was this gentleman that was going to be going for a PhD in philosophy. And by the time I was 19, we were married and we were about to become parents. And he was in graduate school, and I went to work when our first daughter was two weeks old. We had a typical student marriage, you name it. Yes.

Dave: You mentioned State College. Where was that at? 

Tosca: San Francisco State. 

Dave: Okay. Because–

Tosca: I guess it’s been renamed to a university. I don’t know. 

Dave: Because you’re at Napa Valley now. You’re at Napa Road, Cogir Napa Road. So have you stayed in that area your entire life? 

Tosca: My husband and I moved to Sonoma about 1990, and we lived here. We had a house in Boy Springs. So well, there’s that painting of the back garden that I left. It was a great little house. It was built by a man who had escaped the Nazis and worked his way as a laborer all the way across, you know, the continent there, the ocean, and our to Sonoma and worked as a laborer. But before he retired about that time, he was able to actually build a home himself.

Dave: When you say build a home, do you mean with his hands? 

Tosca: He was, you know– So it’s 620 Calle Del Monte in Sonoma. And, it was a beautiful little house. I mean, everything about it was perfect, and I was transforming it. It had four of its own oak trees, and I had even put one of those strap swings in the backyard under the oak over there. 

Dave: And Sonoma is so beautiful. 

Tosca: Yeah. It was great. We were lucky.

Dave: And you mentioned that two weeks after becoming a mother, very young at 19, you were working. 

Tosca: Oh, yes. But I, you know, I was able to use the word art, which I had worn or been developed to want to do. I’ve worked at all levels of government. At my website where I’ve collected works since I retired, There’s a copy of my resume, but some of the jobs were all interesting. I really felt, didn’t realize how fortunate I was because what I received was a perfect lesson in the economics of our environment and our society. You know, I worked for public works, for example, and learned about the different services and how the city exists, how the traffic lights work, and all of that. 

Dave: How did you craft your talent for writing? 

Tosca: I just learned I just learned from the bottom up. I had when I took that first writing course where I met my husband to be, I wrote my first short story and it was the first that the professor mentioned the class, you know. So that was gratifying. And then, in high school in my senior year, I won an award in the San Francisco Press and Union League Club contest for a story I’d written. So I had some encouragement like that, but I didn’t really start. Although I wrote in my mind all the time, I remember the first line. I can remember my mother had sent me to get something she needed at the store, and I was probably about 10? And the line goes something like, she was walking along Union Street in her sturdy brown oxfords. When up ahead, she noticed the priest fully dressed, looking transfixed before a storm window. And she couldn’t wait to get to the corner to see what the priest was looking at, what caught her attention. That was actually what was happening to me. I started describing myself and things around me in the third person. 

Dave: I love that because they say that a good writer is able to bring all senses to the reader.

Tosca: Yes. But there have been writers that I have adored. The ones that could grab could make you feel something in the moment with the fewest words with, you know, just that– I remember Conrad, a line– but this was this was about what the writer is trying to do, and his line is something like, I want to make you see, and but see, he meant more than just looking. 

Dave: Yep. 

Tosca: He meant observing. And it was Sherlock Holmes who said to Watson something about there was a difference between seeing and observing. Seeing is just looking at your eyes. I see the sink, whatever. But for a person. There’s so and so. Right? But when I observe the person and their demeanor and how I observed them yesterday, for example, there was that in between shots, you know. 

Dave: That’s so interesting. A lot of those lines a lot of people say there’s a difference between just living and being alive. 

Tosca: Oh.

Dave: There’s a difference. 

Tosca: Very well put. Just as a culmination of that thought that I’ve had. 

Dave: What do you love writing about the most? 

Tosca: There are three subjects that I liked writing about the most. The first is that I guess I’d have to say the cosmos. I because it started with perception, but in order to write about perception, I had to go into the materiality of perception. And so I enjoyed that. That was probably the second subject that I I worked on, and I put together something called a child’s book of light and that took care of that subject. Not that I finished it for the universe, but for myself, it was the best I could take it. And then the second subject was the history of religious religions, and I got very strong feelings I have about how there is that atmosphere that isn’t about the, the relations between groups or nations, and there’s always that supposed religious base. Right? And, 

Dave: It’s great. Religion has created more friends and more wars than anything in history. 

Tosca: Yeah. And we’re there again. It almost makes me feel hopeless because my husband did teach philosophy at Cal. 

Dave: That’s right. 

Tosca: And, I stayed out of philosophy. When I realized I was going to marry him, I decided I would check philosophy out. And I remember finding some philosopher whose name I don’t remember and reading the first three paragraphs and thinking forget it. So but one thing, once we had this different discussion as to our existence, now I then wholeheartedly believed in evolution and that and in materiality and in our brains and that our brains could evolve, and eventually, our collective consciousness would get beyond stupidities. Whereas he said, oh, for goodness sake, no. You know? He said that he said, look at the quote, gods, whatever you wanna say, animal realm here. We’re the highest of the animal realm on Earth. And, yes, we can teach a monkey to hit some typewriter keys, but we’re not going to give a monkey the consciousness that we have to reason. And, we’re going to always act according to our instincts. So I’m really miserable about what’s happening in the world because every once in a while, I look up and say, although I don’t believe him, there is an existence in heaven or anything. I believe our materiality gets used, reused over and over, but disseminated. You know? But, lately, what I’ve been saying, God Ron. I’m afraid you were right. You know? The way things are going, I don’t wanna hear about it.

Dave: Well, Tosca is smart as you are and being married to a philosopher. I’m sure that you had some interesting conversations. Hey. What advice would you give to a young author? 

Tosca: The first thought that occurs is to get involved in the business of it right away. Learn, you know, learn about it because I learned backwards how a book is done. If I had gone to class, you know, classes about it, I would have realized when I started working on, for example, the history of the daughters that, yes, you’re gonna stream a lot and you’re gonna use those streamings. You’re gonna research. You’re gonna do that, and you’re gonna have all of this, and you’re going to need to combine it. So then you have to go through the stream no. Through the research first and separate it out into the chapters. You know? So you–

Dave: I see. 

Tosca: Okay? So now you’ve got some chapters. Then you go to the streamings, and you translate all of that. But in the process, it’s very time consuming. 

Dave: Yes. 

Tosca: With this book, I threw away about two thirds. I sat in front of the fireplace because the streamings are your thoughts you’ve gotta get rid of. Right? But you can maybe sum up two pages in one line. 

Dave: But to write the book chronologically is important. Tosca, tell us about Cogir in Napa Valley, Cogir Napa Road. 

Tosca: I became acquainted with Cogir when my sister-in-law arrived at a stage where she– we had been– I had been maintaining her in their family home. It’s what had been the family home in San Rafael, but she needed assisted care. And so I came and visited Cogir, and I was quite impressed. I’ve forgotten what function it was, but it was one that was open to people’s relatives, to the community. And it was held in the dining room, and all the tables were set up. And I sat next to a very intelligent resident and really enjoyed it, and that was a really important element for me when it came time that I came here later, when I started just thinking about myself. And I came to a couple of things. I remember there was a woman who ran. They would have political discussions in the media room, and it was a very, intelligent lady that was kind of running the thing for everyone. 

Dave: Oh, that’s perfect for you because you’re so smart that you need that food you need that food for your mind. You do. And those kinds of discussions to have within the Cogir community are beautiful. 

Tosca: Very important. 

Dave: Cogir makes friends. That’s beautiful. 

Tosca: And I’m you know, now that I had incidents material physically happen, and I know when it came to the point after rehab that I was to be with assisted living. I remember I made the decision very quickly. My older daughter, I know she said to me, are you sure, you know, you want you don’t wanna take more time? And I said no. So, I’ve been here two years, which is very, very difficult even now for me to believe because one, no matter I mean, the place and the staff is remarkable. They all must have a calling to this because, well, of course, longevity became a study for me. And I’ve got a book supposedly in notes and research this thick that I don’t think because the secretary of need has decided to totally 

Dave: Oh, I imagine. That’s who you are, Tosca, and you are definitely a jewel in the Cogir community. Tosca, how many kids did you end up having? 

Tosca: Two daughters.

Dave: Two daughters, and they have to feel good about where mom is right now. And Tosca– 

Tosca: They do. Well, my older daughter is 69, and she’s a retired attorney now. And the younger daughter is 62. 

Dave: I think it’s wonderful that you still have a relationship with your daughters. And, Tosca, you look wonderful. You’re smart as a whip. It’s a pleasure to talk to you, and thank you so much for taking the time. 

Tosca: If I’m smart, you must be equally smart to understand me. Right? 

Dave: Thank you for taking the time. Hugs to you, and the very best to you. 

Tosca: Thank you, Dave, so much. You’ve been the perfect interviewer.

Summary

Tosca Lenzi, a resident at Cogir of Sonoma Plaza in Napa Valley, shares her fascinating life as a writer, thinker, and lifelong learner. With a professional career spanning government work and creative writing, Tosca speaks about her early passion for storytelling, her education at San Francisco State, and how her love for words shaped her journey. She also reflects on her unique love story—marrying, divorcing, and later remarrying the same man—and raising two daughters while building a meaningful career.

Tosca discusses her favorite writing topics, including the cosmos, human perception, and the history of religion, and offers thoughtful advice to aspiring authors. She also talks about how she found a welcoming and intellectually engaging environment at Cogir, where vibrant discussions, strong friendships, and compassionate care have made the community feel like home.

Wise, warm, and deeply insightful, Tosca is a treasured presence at Cogir of Sonoma Plaza—and her story is one that inspires reflection, creativity, and resilience.