Living with dementia can be just as difficult for a caregiver as it is for the affected senior — maybe even more so. Every day brings a new set of challenges. Daily routines feel insurmountable. Mood swings dictate how well the rest of the day goes. The around-the-clock attention can feel thankless at times, leaving a caregiver little space to manage their own mental and physical exhaustion they will eventually feel. 

Just the passing thought of moving a loved one to assisted care can feel like a guilty notion for the most dedicated and loving of caregivers. But here’s the reality — that decision can actually be the most loving next step for the well-being of everyone involved.

Holly McMurray, Senior Vice President of Care and Compliance at Cogir Senior Living, sees a pattern of guilt and fear of judgement in caregivers who struggle to come to terms with their loved one needing advanced memory care. 

“I think many families fear that transitioning to memory care means giving up their role as that primary caregiver, or their loved one’s independence,” McMurray says. “Cogir works closely with families to reframe this step as a compassionate choice rooted in safety, dignity, and improved quality of life. The approach at this being a partnership and a collaboration of care is an important part of that conversation.”

If long-term memory care turns out to be the best path forward for you, it’s essential to approach this decision with a clear understanding of what to look for, and the right questions to ask about assisted living and memory care. 

At Cogir Senior Living, we’ve dedicated ourselves to supporting seniors with memory care services that prioritize our residents’ quality of life. Let us help guide you through the approach and questions to ask about long-term memory care for your loved one. There’s great empowerment in just knowing what questions to ask when searching for a memory care community! 

Understanding Memory Care

Before diving into the questions to ask when choosing a memory care community, it’s crucial to understand what memory care is. 

Memory care is a specialized form of long-term care designed for individuals with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. It provides a supportive and secure environment tailored to the unique needs of residents, focusing on enhancing their quality of life through structured routines, specialized programs, and personalized care plans.

“I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that memory care is a sterile institutional environment, or that residents are kind of lost in the fog or the haze of those memory care environments,” McMurray says. “In fact, memory care communities are vibrant environments set up to create a comfortable living space that’s tailored to those individual needs and preferences. For example, Cogir uses positive social roles, along with therapeutic and recreational programming that strengthens engagement and supports that continued purpose, autonomy and self worth of the individual.”

The average stay in memory care typically ranges from two to three years, though it can vary significantly based on several factors, including the progression of dementia, overall health, and the level of care required. 

Some residents may stay for only a few months. Some residents may remain in memory care for up to ten years or more, or the remainder of their lives. 

When you’re preparing questions to ask when looking for memory care communities, it’s crucial to have a basic understanding of what memory care is, and what the signs are in your loved one that may indicate a need for specialized care and how long it may be needed for.

Recognizing the Need for Memory Care

It’s important to recognize when to move to memory care as the next best step. Signs may include increased safety risks, health issues, or when caregivers can no longer meet the changing needs of their loved one. 

McMurry has observed that caregiving families often reach this realization when safety becomes a daily concern — manifesting in things like wandering, medication errors, hygiene issues, increased aggression or confusion. Those signs, she notes, usually present themselves most frequently in family relationships or family dynamics. 

“If your loved one is experiencing loneliness, confusion or distress that’s worsening despite the support that you’re providing, it’s a good indication that it’s time to consider a memory care setting,” McMurray says. “Cogir’s neighborhoods are designed with these transitions in mind, they offer secure environments and trained associates who specialize in those different stages of dementia with proactive compassion.”

For more insights, visit our guide on recognizing the signs it’s time for memory care.

Understanding the early signs of dementia and Alzheimer’s is crucial for early intervention. Learn more about these signs and how they differ in our article on early signs of dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Key Questions to Ask

When exploring memory care options, it’s crucial to ask the right questions. Especially for those considering questions to ask when moving a parent to assisted living, explore how the community provides a smooth integration into this new environment. Understand the community’s approach to helping residents adjust to a new setting and how they support family members during this transition. Inquire about the qualifications of the staff, the types of activities and therapies offered, and the community’s approach to managing challenging behaviors. 

When narrowing your questions to ask nursing homes or dementia communities, focus on the level of care provided, and look for 24/7 supervision with daily tasks. It’s important to inquire about the community’s experience in managing dementia-specific challenges and how they ensure residents’ safety and well-being.

Consider the following essential questions to ask a chosen memory care community:

Convenience and Accessibility

  • How accessible is the community, both inside and outside?
  • How close is the community to family members and other important locations?

Security and Navigability

  • Are the rooms and halls easy to navigate?
  • What security measures are in place, such as monitored exits?

Access to Medical Professionals

  • How is standard medical care managed within the community?
  • Are there doctors nearby, and what is the proximity to the nearest hospital?

Professional Qualifications

  • What are the qualifications of the staff, including any specialized training in dementia care?
  • Do staff members undergo continuing education to stay updated on the latest care techniques?
  • Is the community equipped with modern amenities to support a comfortable life?
  • Does the community take part in cutting-edge research and make use of the latest scholarly data on Memory Care science and techniques?

Therapies and Activities

  • What types of cognitive and physical activities are offered to engage residents?
  • Are there opportunities for social interaction, such as group dining or recreational activities?

Family Support

  • What is the community’s reputation for empathy and compassion?
  • How do reviews from residents and their families reflect the community’s atmosphere? How does the community handle negative feedback?
  • How does the community support the whole family, including open communication and trust?

Additional Considerations

  • Staff-to-Resident Ratio: Ask about the daytime and nighttime staff-to-resident ratios to ensure adequate care.
  • Safety Features: Look for secure outdoor spaces, color-coded hallways, and other features designed to reduce confusion and wandering.
  • Cost and Payment Options: Understand what is included in the monthly fees and explore available payment options, such as long-term care insurance or Medicaid.

Which Memory Care Community is Right For You?

You should now be well-equipped with some memory care interview questions as you seek the best community for your loved one. 

Even with that rundown and list of questions, deciding on a memory care community for your loved one still involves careful consideration of several factors — hardly a “one-size-fits-all” scenario. It’s essential to evaluate the community’s ability to provide a supportive environment tailored to the unique needs of your loved one and whole family.

Memory care programs at residential communities like Cogir Senior Living are prepared to address these needs, often including specialized interventions and therapies aimed at enhancing quality of life. For instance, Cogir’s Connections Program focuses on building meaningful relationships and providing holistic care that supports both residents and their families.

“Choosing memory care is not ‘giving up;’ it’s leaning into a new chapter, where your loved one can really thrive with the appropriate support,” McMurray assures. “At Cogir, we honor a ‘whole person’ mentality: it’s not just about what’s lost, but also what remains — and what can still be meaningful for that individual. I think when families see their loved ones calm, smiling and engaged, they often find peace with their decision. I think that shift allows caregivers to return to being spouses, daughters and sons — not just that caretaker. They can really step back into those relationships that they had to abandon as the primary caregiver for their loved one.”

For more information on how Cogir Senior Living can help determine your needed level of memory care support, visit our memory care services page.